274 comments on Ten Fundamental Principles of Net Energy
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274 comments on Ten Fundamental Principles of Net Energy
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I agree that an article should ultimately be judged by the quality of the data and argument, but when did good writing become a character flaw? Most scientific writing suffers from a terrible form of prose that follws the following sentence structure ad nauseum: preposition...preposistion...linking verb...preposition...preposition.
E.g.
The cost OF installation OF solar panels WITH the new technology invented BY our company IS less than the cost OF operating the older system WITH the inefficiencies inherit In the system.
or
The effect OF the medication ON systolic blood pressure IN the experimental group WAS greater than the effect ON the placebo group IN this study.
This latter sentence could be rendered:
The medication effectively reduced the experimental group's systolic blood pressure more than the placebo group's.
By avoiding all the prepositions and allowing an action verb to create some of the sentence's meaning, the point is made more clearly and is easier to read.
If you read a lot of scientific writing, like I do, pay attention as you read. You'll become aware of how repetitive and redundant this lazy form of writing is and how it detracts from the writing and makes the point less clear. And then you'll realise how refreshing it is to read something like Mr. Cleveland's essay.
Oh, and yes, the "repetitive and redundant" phrase was intentional.
While a lot of prepositions is possibly harder to read, it may ease the task of expressing a complex sentence/idea as exactly as possible.
A bit of nitpicking here, Your rendition of the medical phrase differs from the original (it seems to me that the "effect" in the original phrase is not quantified, it could be positive or negative, or chaotic?).
Yea, you're right. "effectively" is superfluous. I shouldn't criticize poor writing without taking the time to avoid other writing pitfalls!