Hi Tim,

I really appreciate your post here and below, along with the responses.

All of the comments – Jeffrey’s, Roger's and others - also interest me from the point of view of a book I’m reading right now. It’s one I’d recommended to Robert R, before I'd read it myself - (my suggestion, which I explained at the time, was based on a single interview with a mediator who’d undertaken “Transformative Mediation” training):

http://www.amazon.com/Promise-Mediation-Transformative-Approach-Conflict...

Also, I recently read this book (below), which covers some of the same themes:

http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Shame-Fossum/dp/0393305813/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/...

The authors talk about conflict itself – quite apart from the particular situation or the particular actors - as generating some fairly predictable reactions in people. Namely, a kind of closing in and closing down, or “self-absorption” - and other common responses, which are discussed in these books.

It’s interesting to me to notice Roger’s language (which in some ways echoes Jim, with his use of one of the same words Jim had used in his write-up on the conference, i.e., - RC modifies as “azz”) (see http://www.energybulletin.net/36065.html), and also Roger’s use of wager. Jeffrey’s focus on the accuracy of Jim’s predictions, and so forth.

Anyway, though it may seem counter-intuitive, the authors, Robert A. Baruch Bush and Joseph P. Folger, talk about “empowerment” and “recognition”, which I could try to summarize as “regaining a sense of clarity in oneself" and “feeling empathy towards another”, or, to pick a random quote from the book to share: “…interactional change begins with a party calming down, getting clear and thus regaining strength; with this renewed strength, the party then begins to open up to a different view of the other.” (p. 67).

*Not* that the authors see the role of mediation as having the *goal* of “calming people down” – quite the opposite, in fact, by supporting people’s full expression. And doing so in a way that mirrors the expression, acknowledges and helps gain clarity.

I wanted to share this, because to me, (IMVHO as they say), some of these efforts to address patterns of conflict are illustrative of a kind of a contribution to our understanding that is as remarkable as any technological or scientific advancement. (I’ve sometimes also referred to www.cnvc.org, www.gordontraining.com, and www.newconversations.net.)

And may help us.