A fraction of the population thinks that oil production remains a simple matter of turning the spigot clockwise to get more oil

Shome mishtake shurely? Clockwise?

No, no, not at all, the more you turn it clockwise the deeper you screw it into the hole and the closer you get to really good abiotic stuff. Plus this way you don't have to suffer from the post party hangover.

Good point, I guess it depends on whether you want cold or hot oil.